As If

The future is completely open and we are writing it moment to moment. – Pema Chodron

I want to do that; I’d love to be that; I wish I had that. 

I spend a lot of time in such thoughts. And through conversations with others, I know that I am not alone in this. I hear so many of my friends speak of their career aspirations, their dreams around lifestyle shifts, or their yearning for specific relationships. 

It is normal for us to WANT. Often, this is what propels us forward. Still, spending too much time thinking and speaking about what we want  can have the effect of keeping us stuck there…in the wanting. Instead, what if we acted on these aspirations, dreams and yearnings? How might you show up differently if you already had what it is that you wish for? If you already were who it is that you want to be? What might shift for you if you began to show up that way now?

My inspiration around this topic was sparked by a podcast that I recently listened to. In the podcast, the interviewee spoke of the dream she had to work within the field of content development. Instead of waiting for an opportunity to fall into her lap, she created the opportunity. She began to build her own social media content, completing tasks that she’d have in her future dream job. She developed a portfolio of work that she could then use to market herself to employers. Instead of staying stuck in the initial place of wanting, she began to act on those wants. Shortly after, she signed on as a lead content developer for a high profile influencer. 

There is power in acting as if. 

There is in fact research behind this concept of acting upon who it is that you want to become and what it is that you seek to acquire. A science behind envisioning this future self and then employing the habits and mindsets of that future self now, not waiting for later. 

Carol Dweck, who has done a lot of research around the subject of a growth vs. fixed mindset writes, “‘Luxuriate in the power of yet.’ Do not be overly concerned about who you are right now, but instead, see yourself in a state of becoming.” (FastCompany.com). She argues that “when you see your future self as a different person with different perspectives and different preferences, then you can make present decisions based on what your future self would want”. This is how we begin, now, growing into that future self we aim to be, living the life we aim to live.  

This speaks to me right now as I continue to seek growth in my professional role, to develop as a writer, and to improve in my abilities as an endurance athlete. So, putting it into the context of “acting as if”, this would mean that I begin to create a curriculum now, even if that isn’t what I am doing between my 9-5 hours. It would entail me beginning the initial phases of writing a book now, seeing myself as an author. It would mean treating my body as a top endurance athlete would now, being extremely mindful of how I train, fuel and recover. 

In order to begin this journey of living “as if” now, there are several things one may want to consider. 

Get Clear

Get clear on exactly what it is that you want. Who is it that you want to be? What kind of life do you want to live? Be honest with yourself here. Visualize that person. What does she do? How does she look? How does she feel? Evaluate this “future you” from a variety of angles. 

Align 

Now that you have clarity around the direction you want to move in, consider how this “future you” aligns with the you at present. Where might you want to begin making some subtle shifts and changes so as to begin inhabiting more of that future self now. For example, if my future self is an author, then she certainly schedules in time each day to write. How can I do this for myself now? Start small and practice patience, allowing yourself time to grow and evolve. 

Decide 

Use this image of your future self to drive your present day decisions. Once you’ve looked at where you are now and compared that to where you want to go, begin to frame your daily decisions within this light. Would my future *author* self sit down after dinner each night and watch Netflix until bed? Or would she choose to use time, at least a few nights a week, to write? Make the decision that brings you closer to the you that you want to become. 

Celebrate You 

In the midst of this growth, continue to love and celebrate who you are today. Yes, we want to act in a way that drives us closer to who we want to become, but not at the cost of despising yourself now. When you love yourself, you give to yourself. And it is through this giving that we really flourish. Express gratitude for who you are now and all the work you are doing. 

I have dreams and desires for who I hope to be one day, and yet, unless I take action, they will simply stay just that – dreams and desires. I want to make them a reality. One way to do this, a way that I have control over, is to address how I am showing up now. 

If this resonates with you, then I encourage you to reflect on these questions:

• Who is it that I want to become?
• What sort of life do I want to live?
• How can I begin to be her, to live that life, now?

Don’t be afraid to share this with others. Continue to shower yourself with love through the process. Allow this to feel empowering. 
“Few experiences are more satisfying than becoming someone we always imagined we could be.” – Gina Green Lee