Hot Girl Summer

Tuesday, June 21st marks the beginning of summer. It is upon us in just a few short days. What images or thoughts does the mention of “summer” bring up for you? Perhaps one of backyard barbeques and long evening bike rides? Maybe the beach, you in a bikini and a delicious drink in hand? Or perhaps something less appealing, like hot days spent working outside or broken air-conditioners? We all have different experiences of summer, unique to our own circumstances. 

I have seen this phrase “Hot Girl Summer” trending across multiple platforms, each time that June appears, for the last couple of years. There is also the age old “bikini ready” message that has been fed, and continues to be fed, to us each summer. Such messages can lead many of us to question if we are indeed ready for summer.

The beginning of summer is a time that women and men alike may begin to scrutinize what they eat and how they exercise. Over are the months of thick sweaters thrown easily over a pair of stretchy leggings; the sun is asking us to strip off those layers and expose bare skin. With this, we feel the urge to look our absolute best when wearing the absolute minimum. 

But summer comes and goes, and does how you looked in that bikini really matter? Did it propel your life forward in such a way that feels deeply meaningful and significant to you? My guess is not. Sure, it feels great to look great…but it really isn’t the end all be all. And if it is, you may need to reevaluate your “end all be all”. 

As I begin to make summer plans, some of which involve me in a bikini, and others that require short dresses or cropped workout tops, my eyes are immediately drawn to the parts of my body that I feel must change – tighten up that core, tone those legs,  bronze the skin, remove all of the hair. I realize how drastically unprepared I am for summer, scolding myself for not taking action sooner. 

Wait. What? Is that really what I want my summer to be about? Tightening, toning, bronzing and hair removal? Yes, I want to look fabulous and I will put forth some effort into doing so, but is that really going to be the sole focus of my summer? How does my body look?

Instead of placing so much attention on the physical, I think many of us would benefit from asking, “How do I want to feel this summer?” or even, “What kind of summer is it that my body needs?” Instead of approaching our summer from the physical, why not instead begin with what is happening below the surface?

I took some time to ask myself this very question. After rolling out my yoga mat and moving through a gentle flow, I found myself quiet enough to ponder how I want to feel this summer and what it is that my body needs. The answer surprised me a bit. 

What came up for me was joyful femininity. I want to feel joy each day while simultaneously catering towards the more feminine side of me – the gentle, nurturing and tender side; the part of me that embraces shades of gray and is okay moving at a slower pace. The part of me that delights in the small daily pleasures before her, as opposed to fixating on the mountainous goals looming in the distance. What I need this summer is more lazy afternoons spent reading by the ocean, outings with friends in the middle of a work week, and coffee sipped on my back patio while the sun begins to rise. Less schedules and deadlines, more fluidity; less sharp edges and more round, encompassing curves. 

None of what I wrote above relates in any way to a summer spent manipulating what I eat or how I exercise. I don’t write at all of spending countless moments working towards attainment of the “ideal bikini body”. This is because, when I get honest, I am less interested in “Hot Girl Summer” and more interested in “Healthy Girl Summer” or “Holistic Girl Summer”, even “Happy Girl Summer”. For me, that is the opposite of manipulation. 

With summer approaching, have you too felt the urge to pick apart your body…planning what it would take to lose just five more pounds? What if instead, you shifted your awareness to how it is you want to feel this summer, what it is that you need? I promise, the effects of such a shift will have a much greater impact.

As  the lovely Audrey Hepburn so perfectly puts it, “The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.”