Category Archives: Reflections

I have spent a lot of time lately in a state of worry. As I approach a move to a new state, and begin a job search after a seven month work hiatus, the majority of my worry has been around whether or not I will be hired for a position. Catastrophizing is the bestContinue reading “When the Monster Descends”

December always comes and goes much too quickly for me. I love this time of year, all of the anticipation leading up to Christmas – the music, the decorations and the surrounding energy. As a classroom teacher, I found the weeks between Thanksgiving and the Winter Break to be especially magical. While it is trueContinue reading “My December List”

In the above picture I remember thinking to myself, “Why are there so many people on this hike? Why am I breathing so hard already? Why can’t I keep up with Daniel as he leaps from rock to rock? And WHY do I look so flushed and disheveled in this picture?” Yet, I was inContinue reading “A Shift in Perspective”

Sometimes I just feel sad. I look to pinpoint what is wrong, something (or someone) to blame the sadness on. I try to distract myself from it, to self-soothe through it. And still it sits there, heavy. I tell myself that this is okay, some days just feel this way. The only way through itContinue reading “Cut-Throat”

Sometimes what you were afraid of never happens; and other times, what you were afraid of would have been so much more manageable than what came to pass. Either way, fear of what MAY lie ahead is a waste of your present energy. You are either going to experience your dreaded situation twice, or youContinue reading ““What if?””

How do you create the life you most desire? How do you narrow down what you want and work towards it with conviction? I have been mulling over these questions lately. I don’t want to approach these questions with the mindset of “something is wrong with me; I am broken and need to be fixed.”Continue reading “Honoring Solitude while Together”

I began chemo-therapy in May of 2016. Those are words I never imagined that I’d need to write, especially before the age of thirty. In fact, they feel surreal to this day.  I met my oncologist shortly after recovering from my colon resection. An intense, but kind, woman I instantly knew that I was inContinue reading “We are all essentially dying; don’t wait until tomorrow to start living.”

Continuation of “I am Probably Fine, Right?” On a February afternoon, I found myself sitting in yet another synthetic lit, cold, exam room – this time to meet with a colorectal surgeon. My friend Natalie had accompanied me; after my last appointment I reasoned that I best bring someone along with me. I need theContinue reading “Walking into the Fire”

It started in late September – faint at first. It is a relatively normal symptom, one that could be the result of a variety of medical conditions. Not really something you casually bring up to others, this blood that I see. But to a doctor? Yes, I do tell a doctor. Because I want toContinue reading “I am probably fine, right?”

    In the last 20 years, much of my attention and energy has gone towards thoughts about, and criticisms of, my body. How it looks; how it feels; how it is performing; what I am putting in it; what I am putting on it. While I am embarrassed to admit this, I don’t think IContinue reading “We All Like A Winner”