“Women friendships are like a renewable source of energy.” – Jane Fonda
I hate to think of where I’d be without the incredible female relationships that I have in my life. These women who provide a compassionate ear at a moment’s notice, who get me to laugh so hard that it aches, who inspire me with their own dreams and ambition, and who generously offer forth so much love.
Many of the bonds I have formed with women have been built around a shared passion for adventure in the outdoors. First with my mother, who carried me in her womb through a marathon, my mother [and father] who introduced me to the outdoors at a very young age – carrying me in a backpack through snow encrusted trails as my cheeks turned red; taking me on river trips that saw us scouting out class 4 rapids during spring break, when everyone else was on their way to Disneyland. Then with friends during my teen years – a soccer game that left us covered in dried mud, a lone worm found in a girls hair; a cross country relay race in the heat of the summer with a course that spanned over 100 miles; the infamous Steens Mountain Running Camp which sits at an elevation of 7,000 feet. In college, so many of my Sunday mornings were spent logging miles on McMinnville’s backcountry roads – Flying M, Turkey Farm, The Cemetery Loop … To this day, when I plan time with my girlfriends, it often involves some sort of outdoor adventure – backpacking trips, urban hikes, or a long run along the ocean.
Some of the strongest friendships I’ve forged have stemmed from repeatedly challenging ourselves together in nature. I think there are a few reasons for this.
A Shared Experience
When a girlfriend and I embark upon an outdoor adventure, we are engaging in a shared experience. This experience usually involves some sort of physical challenge – running up a steep incline, maneuvering a bike across a jagged rock garden, crawling up and under fallen trees with a 50 lb backpack (you know who you are). Through the physical challenges, I become more aware of my own strength, and also the strength in my friends. I see just what we are capable of, how resilient we are. Because of this I develop a deeper understanding of, and appreciation for, these women. Additionally, our shared experience leaves us with a memory of what we accomplished together. A memory that binds us and that we can come back to again and again.
Left in Awe
Being in nature can invoke a sense of “awe” – watching a sunset over the Sonoran Desert or sitting atop the peak of a mountain you’ve just summited and taking in the vast expanse of valley below. Moments of awe, being filled with a sense of wonder and reverence for the natural world, can leave us feeling small. Not small in the sense of inadequacy, but small in the sense of not being alone…of being one amongst many. When I share in a moment of awe, I feel instantly closer to the being I am sharing the moment with, flooded with positive emotions and eager to spread that joy.
Slowing Down
Oftentimes, an adventure outdoors means no cell service. Even if it doesn’t, a long run, an intense hike, or a peaceful backcountry ski, sees the cell phone tucked away in a pocket or pouch. When I am in nature, with my friends, the distractions become minimal. Work isn’t pulling at us, our to-do lists are out of sight, and requests for attention aren’t coming in. Time begins to slow, if even just a little. Conversation flows more naturally, opening the way for vulnerability. The beauty of nature puts us into a reflective state and our words hold greater depth. It is in these moments that I really get to know my friends – to hear their thoughts, worries and dreams. To see that our values align. Their whole self radiates through, connecting with my own.
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Time with other women fuels my soul. Time outside restores me. This is why a marriage of the two is so ideal, satisfying both needs and strengthening a bond.
I have so many amazing women in my life. I am grateful for that. I am also grateful for the shared experiences, the moments of awe, and the slowing of time that our outdoor adventures have provided.
Take some time to consider…
- If you and your girlfriends bond through time together in nature, how has this positively influenced your relationship?
- If you and your friends don’t spend much time together outside, how might you bring more of the outdoors into your interactions?
“Find a group of people who challenge you and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” – Amy Poehler
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