Reminder: We don’t have to continue holiday traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed and tired. – Rachel Jonat
We are almost through December. Most years, it is about now that I start to experience some holiday overwhelm. There are almost always items on my Christmas list that start to become daunting as the holiday approaches. Invites to parties and last minute gatherings begin to amount, pre-holiday deadlines for work draw ever closer. Add to this that my only real motivation lies in a desire to make a cup of hot chocolate, curl up in a blanket, and read a book or watch a Christmas movie.
This year, I haven’t really experienced that same holiday overwhelm. Yes, I have felt very tired and definitely want a day of hot chocolate and Christmas movies, but I haven’t been stressed about Christmas. I attribute this to the mindset practices and various rituals I have put into place to support my wellbeing this month.
Holiday overwhelm is a widespread phenomenon. One study found that “66% of respondents report that they feel more stressed out during the holiday season” – Sleepopolis. I sifted through several studies and the number of stressed people at this time of year ranges anywhere from 60 – 70%. This is more than 1 in 2 people that you come across on the street. The reasons behind this vary:
Finances – money can feel especially tight come November and December. Many of us WANT to buy elaborate and well thought out gifts for loved ones, or fun and festive decorations for our homes and offices, but we struggle to do so. Perhaps we find ourselves overspending and then regretting and stressing over this later.
Travel – whether for work or for pleasure, many people travel at this time of year. Being away from home can disrupt routine and lead to more fatigue, and thus more stress.
Overindulging – cookies and treats are readily available right now, as are social gatherings where we may find ourselves drinking more alcohol than normal.
Grief – loss of a loved one and spending our first holiday season without them can take a huge toll on us emotionally.
I for one have experienced all the above at some time or another, and I am sure there are other stressors that people face that I didn’t mention here. Some of these are far easier to navigate than others. For example, the first Christmas without a loved one will be very hard. There is no way around that.
For myself, my main sources of *continuous* overwhelm stemmed from things like spending too much money on gifts or Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, going to lots of parties that lead to too much alcohol and not enough sleep, trying to do too much (Christmas card for every student, family member and friend), and then traveling – which disrupts my sleep and self care.
This year though, I have made an effort to proactively set myself up to feel calmer and more at ease. After all, I want to enjoy my Christmas season. I have done this through pressing pause and carefully considering the following areas and creating a few “parameters” for myself.
Finances ~
This November, before I set out to buy Christmas gifts, I created a budget for how much money I was willing to spend in total – and then (roughly) on each person. This allowed me to adjust my spending in other areas so that I didn’t later find myself dipping into savings.
In the same vein, I did some Black Friday shopping and definitely bought myself more than I intended to. Instead of throwing away the budget and saying, “I’ll do better in January”, I again made a few adjustments.
When it comes to money during the holidays,I have really had to remind myself that it is OKAY not to buy everyone a gift. It is OKAY to just buy a small gift. It is OKAY not to buy a new outfit for every holiday gathering. Instead of stressing about money, I am working to be more creative with what I already have.
Carefully Considering Invitations ~
Yes, yes, yes. If you ask me? The answer is, YES! I have a tendency to overbook myself. It is challenging for me to say no to an invitation for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. But, when I say yes to everything, I quickly become overwhelmed as I have less time to give to myself and restore my own energy. When I do this, I most certainly don’t show up as my best self for others, which negatively impacts the overall experience. Which is why I am learning to pause before habitually saying yes to each invitation that comes my way. I can then weigh out how I am feeling and take into account what other commitments I have on my plate. In turn, this leaves me more present for the events that I do choose to attend.
Overindulging ~
I will admit, I have already overindulged (on several occasions) this holiday season. And, I probably will again. That is okay. What I know isn’t okay is beating myself up over it. Instead, when I overindulge I am working to find balance by focusing on whole foods, lots of water, and movement in the subsequent days. If I have three drinks one night, well then I don’t need to drink again for a few days.
Traveling ~
I am traveling quite a bit this season – both for work and to see family. When I travel, I tend to fall out of routine, and my routines ground me. So, instead of accepting this as a necessary evil of traveling, I am being more mindful with HOW I travel. I am giving myself time alone to rest and recuperate, I am prioritizing sleep and packing a sleep mask and bedtime tea. Finally, I am sure to bring with me creature comforts, like my journal and a good book.
The holidays are overwhelming for many. This can be due to a variety of reasons. While I am sure I will experience some holiday overwhelm this season, I also am looking out for myself ahead of time.
Where are you at with this?
★Do you feel overwhelmed around the holidays?
★If yes, why?
★What can you begin doing to support your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual health during this time of year?
Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance – each beautiful, unique and gone too soon. – Deborah Whipp
backtomeblog.com 