Here we are about to begin a new month. At the beginning of each month (similar to the beginning of each year) I like to sit down and think about my intentions and goals for the month ahead of me. And right now, what has been on my mind, is this idea of future self – which fits so nicely with setting intentions and goals. A lot of women whom I find inspiring speak or write on the concept of “living from your future self”. This means that you let yourself dream freely of the person you’d like to become – how you envision your ideal self. Perhaps this lies in the attitudes and values you hope to encapsulate, the habits of being that you’d like to execute, or even just the way you’d like to dress and present yourself to the world. You dream this up and then you practice being that person now, while also celebrating the beauty of who you are at present. Appreciate AND aspire.
I love dreaming. I can tell you in pretty specific detail the type of woman that I aspire to be. What I find challenging is this whole idea of living it out now. It is hard for me to step out of the person I am now and try on a new way of being that may better serve me. Instead it is so much easier to say, “Oh when ‘x’ happens, then I’ll start to incorporate more of those healthy habits” or, “Once I finish ‘y’, then I will finally have time to commit to some new, fun hobbies”.
If I continue to push it off though, not practicing it now, then I continue to further delay the process of becoming that future self I aspire to be.
An example of this can be illustrated in my strong desire to be a woman who is better able to relax, to release this grip on having time so heavily dictate each move of my day, and to instead have more moments of true rest and play.
When I imagine my future self, I imagine her being able to spend an entire Friday evening painting and sipping a fabulous red wine. She isn’t necessarily a good painter, but that is besides the point. She paints to express herself, she paints to have fun, she paints to let go a bit. This woman that I know lies within, waiting to come out, well she is able to lay in bed on a rainy Saturday morning with a cup of coffee and an excellent book, only leaving the lair of her bedroom when she is good and ready. My future self lets go of her to-do list on Sunday and instead packs a simple lunch, drives up to the mountains and explores a new trail…following her adventure up with some homemade ice cream at a small local shop.
There is so much I love about myself now. My discipline, hard work and attention to details are strengths in a great deal of ways. Still, this future version of me is able to hold those important qualities when necessary, and also let go of them to allow more room for rest, play, and fun!
Nothing physical is standing between me as I am now and this future version of me. It is just habits of the mind – my own belief that I have too many other commitments to spend time on such moments of pure pleasure for the sake of pleasure. Once I get all caught up THEN I can be that future version of myself.
And yet, if I don’t practice being the type of woman who makes time for those moments of pleasure now, then when? Will I ever really be “caught up”? If I don’t allow myself to play, to take an evening, afternoon, or even a week away from the to-do list then I will continue to fill my time with commitments and tasks that don’t really fill me up. If not careful, then that could go on and on forever. Unless I decide to make a change. This is why so many women are encouraging us to live from that future self now. If we practice now, then eventually that future self will just become the self.
As I sit here writing, the rain is coming down, nourishing the freshly planted grass in our back yard, feeding the blossoming rose buds. I pulled up an article on my phone and was drawn to the question, “What change can you make now that your future self will thank you for?” Hence this blog post was birthed.
A change that I can make now, that my future self would thank me for, would be to use the time I have left in my Spring Break to rest, play and simply have fun. The job applications can wait. The UX Design Course can wait. The groceries, cleaning, and organizing of the coming weeks…can wait. Instead, I can begin practicing being the woman who prioritizes her “fun-list” as much as her “to-do list”. For me, this means being present with my parents – putting down the phone and instead immersing myself in this time with them. It means enjoying our outings to Idyllwild and Joshua Tree without this looming worry of everything else I think I should be doing (we really have to stop shoulding ourselves). It means using this upcoming weekend to paint and read in bed. Work, chores, class work…that will all still be there waiting for me when it is time to return.
Does this idea of future self speak to you? Are there parts of yourself that you long to express, or habits you wish to adopt, that you simply keep pushing off until someday? That someday will never happen if we don’t actively choose it. Someday needs to begin one day. Could that one day be today? Even if it is just a small step in the direction you hope to move, “what change can you make that your future self will thank you for?”
If the dream is in there then there are steps you can take and ways you can begin to practice encapsulating that dream now. All it takes is a little courage and before long it’ll be natural. That future self will just be the self.
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